The downside to assuming are the three letters that begin that word.
“So, what’s on your mind?” He asked. He had a little laugh in his voice. I guess he was trying to lighten the mood.
“Nothing really. Just tired from being up talking all night.” I lied.
“You can always take a nap.We have a decent amount of a drive ahead of us. You can wake up feeling brand new.
“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I think I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute.”
“We’re not in contact like that anymore, Sam. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault. People just grow up and grow apart.”
“I’m cool. I’m not tripping off anything. I asked a question and you answered honestly. I appreciate that.”
“Well, I learned that honesty is best regardless of how it affects the person you are being honest with. It’s liable to eat you alive if you’re not.” I was thinking, what the hell is he blabbing about?
“What will eat you alive?”
“The lies. Your morals or lack thereof.”
“So is your lies what broke up the relationship?” I blurted out my question and instantly I regretted it. I wished the sounds coming from the vehicles on the road could continue to fill up the awkward silence now taking place in this huge truck.
“You hold no punches, huh?”
“It’s a gift and a curse. I apologize. I was out of line for asking that, this soon anyway.”
He scoffed. “At all. You were out of line for asking at all.”
I was taken aback. “How else will I be able to get to know you? I mean there are ways of listening to people’s stories and learning who they are.”
“Sam, I’m not saying you can’t find out who I am. I’m saying there’s tact. You can ask, but be polite about it.”
“You mean dance around it?” My attitude was beginning. This is why I decided to take a break from dating. I didn’t have “tact”. I didn’t ask questions in a “tactful” way and I could care less about trying to coddle some grown ass man during what really was an interview toward getting to know me intimately. I was direct. The thing is men didn’t really like that. Hence why I was single and untouched for months now.
“When was the last time you were in a relationship?” One point for you, Miles.
“It’s been a while.” I tried to sound confident in my answer. I wasn’t going to let a hint of loneliness seep out in my confession.
“Why?” he asked, really pushing it and trying to disguise the condescension.
I wanted to scream that I just had a low tolerance for lies, connivers, manipulators and men who thought the ultimate goal was getting to my vagina and purposely bypassing my heart and mind; which to me was close to criminal intent. But I lacked tact and that would be a disaster.
“I’ve been busy with the bar and work.”
“So, it has nothing to do with that east coast attitude you have? People down here ain’t tryna deal with that.”
“Wow! So because I ask questions, I have an attitude?”
“No! It’s because of the questions you ask is why you have an attitude. Just let things flow. You already ready to write me off. We just met. I could be the man of your dreams, your next husband even, and because of the relationship I had before you, you’re already trying to label me a bad guy.”
“I just want to get to know the kind of guy I may be getting involved with.”
“And you can if you try to get to know me, not what you want to assume about me. Not every guy is a bad guy. And no, not every guy comes into a relationship knowing exactly what he wants, just like every girl doesn’t get into a relationship knowing everything she wants. No one really knows that until they are in the relationship and start to figure out what they are missing.” I laughed in my mind. Brother Miles thought he had all the answers.
“What if you get all you want but it’s not enough for the other person?” The conversation was turning down a lane that I wasn’t prepared for.
“Then that’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do but thank God for the lesson, the experience and move on. What’s for you is for you. You can’t force someone to see all the things you bring to the table. Especially when you’re not their type of meal. Doesn’t make you any less desirable for the right one.” Miles looked me in the eyes while he answered. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to reassure me or himself.
But how do you know you met the “right one”?
I fell asleep during the ride. I kept dreaming of boats and water. I could even smell the saltwater. I heard reggae music, Bob Marley’s ‘Is this love’ playing throughout the truck. I awoke to Miles rubbing my cheek. He was smiling at me.
“Wake up sleepy head. We have arrived.”