Here I am. Where should I start? I’m young, mid 30’s. I should have my CPA chartering accounts somewhere for a gigantic corporation, receiving spot and annual bonuses of 100k and better, but no. I work as an accountant for a company that does great in revenue but I don’t get nowhere close to 100k in bonuses. Shit, I barely get ten percent of my annual salary. My mother is proud of me though, most of the time. I mean, I barely hear the disappointment in her voice when we speak. “No, Mom. I haven’t gotten a boyfriend yet.” Because I want a MAN! “No, Mom. You have to actually have sex to get pregnant. Sorry but let’s hold off on the baby talk for now.” Besides, I don’t think my hand or fingers or stupid bullet has that capability. “I don’t know, Mom. I mean marriage is cool.” But then again, how long did yours and last? “I’m just waiting on God to send the right one.” And when I say the RIGHT ONE, I mean one that won’t have me auditioning for the next episode of Snapped. You see, I don’t think she gets it. It seems like these men want to be envied for disrespecting the women they are with, as if being faithful and loving one person is wrong on levels that God couldn’t comprehend. ESPECIALLY with social media today. These men will have you shopping on Instagram with them and here you are thinking OMG he loves me, when in reality it’s just so he market himself as a man that takes care of the woman he’s with. That brings in a bunch of chicks. DM’s LIT! Yeah, it’s presumptuous on their part, but sadly it works for his. I’d rather be alone. “Are you sure you’re not a gay?” No, Mom. Well, that depends on drink… which brings us here. As I mentioned, I bartend, which she doesn’t know and I won’t volunteer that information either. She just needs to know I can pay a bill if she needs me to and that I’m not stripping or escorting, not yet anyway. I’ve been propositioned though, couple of times. But no, pussy not for sale. But I’ve seen my share of shit. You guys should grab a drink. This should be fun….